Your Everything
by RibbonblueLeaves
Summary: This is of what happens after the school lockdown. When you truly love somene you can't see them get hurt, you'll break apart.
1. Your everything

Chapter 1

**Clare**

School is coming once again, I don't know if it will be the rise of a nightmare or a miracle. My heart aches at the thought of Eli…my Eli…the person I love. Everything about him makes me love him, his witty behavior, his imperfection, his concern for me and Adam, and his troubled state. I want to hold his hand once again, feel those warm lips against mine but it can't happen.

In the night of the lockdown as Fitz got closer to Eli, I felt my whole world crumbling down. And when Eli slid down the wall I actually cursed at god in mind, I just couldn't understand how he would want to take away the most precious thing I have in my life. My chest felt as it had opened, and when I saw Eli hadn't been injured I wanted to fling into his arms but I didn't something in stopped me. I told him that night that I couldn't be with him if all of this continued and I probably sounded like a hypocrite saying that, it took everything I had in me to say those hard words that scratched against my throat. I know people won't understand my reasoning but I love Eli too much, I couldn't bear to see him get hurt. I don't want to be there seeing him break apart.

_I m sorry Eli…I m sorry Eli…I m sorry Eli_

Eli your everything to me, you were there when no one else listened, you made me laugh when tears were about to burst, and you made me live for the very first time. I don't know what to do, I want to be with you forever but I'm scared, I am scared Ill lose you. Eli you're everything to me, but I can't fix you, and I can't handle the pain of losing you.

Tomorrow awaits a new day, I don't know where it will take me, and I don't know how I'll be able to walk the same halls as you. I'd like to Morty parked in the drive way, I'd like to run and swing my arms around you but that wouldn't be appropriate for you or me.


	2. A taste of my own medicine

Chapter 2

**Eli**

Since that awful night, I haven't heard her delicate voice, the wind has gone on its regular course and I've heard nothing of her. I know she needs time but she can't let me go like this, she said it

"There's something between us Eli and you know it"

And there is something so powerful neither of us could resist. I don't know what to do, I don't know If I'll be able to live without her, she's become my sancturuary . I scared her, I saw it in her baby blue eyes, and I really don't know what went through my mind. I know she was looking after me as she tugged my arm to run, but I couldn't my feet were plastered into the ground. After making Fitz vomit I felt like a real jerk, especially after Clare left giving me those guilty eyes. And the worst part was that she was right, I had been a jerk and now she was running to him, to Fitz.

I wasn't going to run anymore I had to face it, but things didn't turn out the way they were planned at all. I got the taste of m own medicine. My body shook as Fitz came closer, and I had to push Clare away, I could hear her breathing, it was hard and sturdy.

"Look I m sorry about before and everything, you win" I said with so much fear in my voice, that Clare was now in tears.

Fitz stepped closer" I've heard that before" he said in a angry tone

"Stop I'm serious" I said hoping Fitz would back away but in contrast he got closer "So am I, you've had this coming for a while" his voice became cold and stern.

I stepped back but it didn't help much I was cornered, my heart kept beating in fast mode." Please don't do this" I said in a low voice, it almost sounded as if my throat was crumbling.

"Someone's gotta shut you up" Fitz blurted out, and in a swift motion his hand moved toward me, I closed my eyes in fear. I heard Clare give a yelp of fear; she couldn't even catch her breath. I realized not too soon Fitz had spared my life, he just wanted to see the same fear I always brought to him and he obtained it.

My body became numb, I couldn't stand up, all my five senses were lacking, and all I could do was stare at the knife that could have been plunged into my body. I felt Clare lean down next to me, relieved that I was alright, but she couldn't even touch me, she looked so scared, defenseless, it was a sight I repelled to see in her face.

Fitz was arrested but I felt partially responsible for the whole incident and Clare wouldn't stop shaking. I wanted to comfort her but I didn't know how, and I was the one who brought Clare to this state. I hurt her, the one thing I was trying to avoid. I knew this line was going to come but I had hoped god would have had pity on me.

"If this is how things are gonna be…then I can't be with you" I felt the words, they suffocated me and I know they hurt Clare too, the words were rough against her sweet voice. I couldn't bring myself to say anything; all I knew was that my heart was breaking.

Tomorrow I'll be seeing Clare once again, but I don't know what to expect, after the lockdown many rules were implied into Degrassi. And I know things won't be the same.


	3. The Aftermath

Chapter 3

**Clare**

I sprung out of bed early…today I was returning to school…to Degrassi

I stared at the new uniform that we were obligated to wear, for girls it was blue shirts with light brown skirts. The clothes wasn't hideous but didn't express any individuality. I quickly changed into my uniform and brushed my hair. I stared into the mirror trying to absorb this reality, of how things were able to change so quickly.

"Clare, come down here, breakfast is ready" my mom shouted, I was getting used to her loud tone in the few days I had comeback from my grandmother's ranch. The night of the lockdown she didn't have the energy to express her anger, all she had shown was concern but now I was receiving the aftermath. I was prohibited to use my laptop if it was not for school purposes and I was only allowed to see Alli outside school hours. I had to be advising my parents where I would be, my life had changed in one single breath.

I came into the kitchen and caught the scent of my eggs and pancakes. My mom and dad had also implied that we would all have to eat together for breakfast; it was a way of trying to hide what was happening to my family as I saw it. But I had no say in what was done anymore. Through the whole fifteen minutes of breakfast, it was quiet; you were even able to hear the clock _tick…tock...tick...tock_

"So Clare how do you like your new uniforms" my mother asked looking at me waiting for a positive response.

I looked up from my plate "Umm…well its comfortable" I manage to say giving her a weak smile

She nods" Well all the parents and I tried our best in choosing the best clothing" she replied in a serious tone.

My mom then wiped her mouth with a napkin"Well look at the time, come on Clare, I have to get you to school, before I go to my doctor's appointment". I quickly ate my food, grabbed my bag, and entered the car.

The drive to school was unpleasant because of the eerie silence between my mom and I. She had asked about the incident with the knife but I never told her, I know it hurt her but I didn't like replaying the scene in my head.

The car stopped in the front of Degrassi, all that could be seen were blue and red shirts, and it was almost a school of fish flowing smoothly through the concrete ground. The sight was upsetting; we all looked like mindless zombies following orders.

I got out the car, I was about to start walking when I heard my mom "Bye Clare, have a nice day, and be safe "I forced a smile and waved goodbye. Even though my mother was angry she still cared about me.

I began to walk to enter the school when I saw a line of students; I suddenly felt a tug on my shoulder

_Eli_ I thought but it was erased by a suffocating hug from Alli "Clare I missed you so much" she said smiling and looking disgustedly at the uniform

"So did I" I say, we soon turned around and became aware of the commotion, in order to enter we had to be searched from the police and we were to be escorted to take I.D. pictures.

"This is absurd, what are they trying to imprison us!" I tell Alli, she just frowns  
"Come on Clare, there's no use, let's just get in the line" Alli tells me with a pleading stare, I oblige to her request, Alli had not had the best time in the lockdown either, Drew had cheated on her, his mother had called her a whore, and was almost hurt by Owen.

I looked at Alli, she was always smiling with confidence but not anymore, she was just waiting, not caring whatever came, just willing to take it.


End file.
